I See Myself in Your Smile
by htbookreader1
Summary: Lucie has an ephiphy waiting for Sydney's seat to be "occupied" and then to leave for England...what happens when she realizes that the man she truley loves is not beside her but condemed to die? part one! please read and review and enjoy
1. Chapter 1

**I read A Tale of Two Cities...i loved it and cried at the ending. It was so beautiful and so passionate and to change it is something that we do...those of us unsatisfied...is because it is so unbareable to comprehend that a man died because he loved someone who did not love him back...but we never really learn what she felt waiting for "Sydney" to come aka her husband...did she have some sort of realization?? and once she found out the truth of her feelings?? what do you think she did?? by the way i obviously do not own A Tale of Two Cities...if i did it wouldnt have been as good nor would i have killed him in the end...please read review and enjoy**

I See Myself in Your Smile

Lucie Manette sat in the coach with her daughter on one side and Mr. Lorry on the other side. Her father sat across from her still shaken and a victim of lost memory. They were all silently waiting for, as Mr. Lorry said, 'Mr. Carton's seat to be occupied.' Lucie leaned her head back against the coach and closed her eyes. She had attempted to accept the inevitable though her eyes remained stained of watery tears. Lucie focused her remaining strength on the living souls rather than the dead she would be leaving in France.

Her mind's eyes fluttered lovingly around her father, little Lucie, and dear Miss Pross. A tiny smile almost came to her sunken face at the laughter of her daughter. But then her thoughts made a sharp turn to Sydney Carton. How odd that she should be thinking of him at a time like this? Granted, it was he who caused this period of waiting and musing. It was he who had saved her dear Charles Darnay from a seemingly doomed fate in England. It was the very same man who had showed her each man had his own sympathetic side.

It surprised her how alike Sydney and Charles were in features. Yet the men were opposites in mannerisms and behaviors. Charles, Lucie reasoned, was the very model of a gentleman. He carried himself with grace that rivaled no other man alive. He knew of no disparaging word in his extensive vocabulary. Charles was all of these and more. And Sydney? What was Sydney?

Sydney, thought Lucie sitting silently in the coach, was everything Charles was not. Charles was a man blessed with kindness and beauty while Sydney glided through life in foggy shadows and a rugged grin. Lucie found herself perplexedly comforted in the memory of Sydney's smile. It was a smile blessed with simplicity as if the wearer of that beautiful grin barely understood his affect on others around him. And Mr. Carton certainly did not comprehend his affect on one Lucie Manette.

Lucie behind her mind's eye conjured and studied Sydney's smile. It seemed that what little happiness that remained in her being was due to a certain man's grin. Therefore Lucie was determined to discover why her eyes lit just imagining his beaming face. Firstly, she responded so passionately to it because of its rarity to appear on a face such as Mr. Carton's face. He was a man almost completely unknown and unobserved, only given a second look because of his blunt wit. A cynic from his very first breath of life some believed. Never any hope for greatness, nor any hope for worth issuing from him others concurred. Yet Lucie could not agree with these remarks and still claim friendship to Sydney because she had been sole witness to Mr. Carton's passionate confession years ago.

The second reason such happiness came over her upon seeing his smile was because in one gesture it brightened Sydney's entire form. Once his smile was alight his eyes began to take on a glow of their own. If his eyes were shining you could almost glimpse a man untouched by sadness and washed clean of earthy sorrow. You were gifted at these precious moments of time to peer upon a man who arose from an ash filled childhood and sought to begin anew.

Finally, concluded Lucie thoughtfully, she adored his smile because it meant he was thoroughly contented with bliss and joy. Though Sydney's smiles were not a common occurrence they were often spotted when he was playing with little Lucie and laughing with little Lucie's mother. Sydney had such a natural gift with children, they seemed to be able to look through the abrupt exterior and look upon the true man that was Sydney Carton.

It was at this moment, whilst she sat in the coach waiting to leave France, when she realized how she, Lucie Manette loved Sydney Carton with the entirety of her heart and the extent of her soul. How did she not realize this love years ago? How could she have just walked past him again and again without spilling her entire heart upon his shoulders? How could she bear another second on this earth without him by her weary side?

In desperation and anxiety she furiously bit her little lip wishing he would arrive soon. Lucie, now in a more blissful state than in years, looked upon the future that she and Sydney and little Lucie would embark in England. They would revive her abused and battered father in the security and the shelter that was London. They would raise little Lucie together in harmony and they would be happy.

But then fear clouded our heroine's eyes. Would Sydney still have her? It was no secret that he had once admired her. But she had shown her indifference and chose Charles. _You silly foolish girl._ Maybe Sydney would forgive her.

Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt at the sound of the coach door opening. Lucie opened her eyes in a flash to see the man she loved. But how surprised she was when she saw an unconscious looking Sydney Carton being carried by Mr. Barsad. Mr. Barsad nodded at Mr. Lorry and they exchanged a knowing look, which Lucie could not interpret. Mr. Barsad carefully placed the unconscious man next to Doctor Manette who did not realize the arrival of the newcomer. Then Mr. Barsad winked at Mr. Lorry and quickly left. Mr. Lorry motioned for the driver to start and the coach with the anxious passengers set off in a furry for England.

Yet something was not right. Lucie started dumbfounded at the man sitting across from her. He wore Sydney's clothes. She knew that was definitely his hat and his coat wrapped around him like a blanket. But his face, a face that she had studied in her mind so well, was not the face of this gentleman. In a swift motion she removed the stranger's hat and gasped at the sight of her unconscious husband Charles Darnay!

"Charles!" she whispered fervently.

"Father!" screamed little Lucie beaming brightly from ear to ear.

Lucie began to touch his face to make sure it was indeed real and that he indeed sat across from her. In shock she looked up at Mr. Lorry. "Tell me what has happened!"

Mr. Lorry, believing her to be pleased smiled lovingly at her. However he knew that silence was the key to get them swiftly out of Paris and out of danger. He withdrew from Lucie's shaking fingers Mr. Carton's hat and placed it strategically on Mr. Darnay's head. "Can you not," began Mr. Lorry, "just enjoy and find bliss in that your husband lives?"

Lucie was not so readily to end this interrogation. She cared for her husband greatly. She loved her husband, as he was the father of her little Lucie. But it seemed that she truly loved another. And that man, her smiling fool, was not present. He was not present and they were leaving without him!

Tears threatened to escape at any moment yet she hurriedly asked, "Where is Sydney?"

Mr. Lorry turned away from her, but that was not about to halt Lucie. She grabbed the hands of her old friend and looked up into his eyes pleadingly. "Mr. Lorry you have not once directly lied to me in all the years we have been friends. Now I ask you for the truth, knowing that as you are a gentleman you shall not keep it from me. Where is Sydney Carton?"

Mr. Lorry turned slowly to face his young friend. She looked at him pleadingly with innocent eyes that might have rivaled that of a child's. So he did not withhold the truth from her and started to explain everything. He told her with a heavy heart and sadness glazing his eyelids of how Sydney had thought of a plan for Charles. It was impossible for anyone to escape from La Force. Escape, obviously would involve everyone and bring forth more death and simply Charles'. But Sydney believed there was a way to secure Charles' freedom.

Mr. Lorry recounted how Sydney, in the middle of the night had convinced Mr. Barasd to let him have one interview with Mr. Darnay. While in the prison Mr. Carton had made Charles unconscious and switched clothing with him. Now, as Mr. Lorry concluded, Sydney was prepared to die so Charles Darnay could live. He would die so Lucie would be happy.

And what tears did that bring to Lucie's kind blue eyes. Fountains could not contain the woman's sorrow and torture. Guilt, of an unrivaled nature like that of which this world does not know, swept blindly over her small feature. Love for the man willing to sacrifice his life for a woman he believed did not love him, threatened to consume her entire being.

Mr. Lorry did not know what to do as he watched Lucie cry. Little Lucie, startled by her mother's tears, tried to stroke her hand. Doctor Manette realizing something was amiss inspected the unconscious man who sat beside him. He discreetly looked the man up and down and to his amazement saw a piece of white paper sticking out from Mr. Darnay's pocket.

"Something…letter…in…there," moaned the good doctor.

Lucie dove across the swiftly moving coach to fetch it. She recognized the handwriting. It was half written by her husband and half by Sydney Carton. The letter read, "If you remember the words that passed between us, long ago, you will readily comprehend this when you see it. You do remember them, I know. It is not in your nature to forget them…I am thankful that the time has come, when I can prove them." Lucie understood then what she had to do. Perhaps most certainly it was not the most practical idea of hers. Nor, she concluded was it wise to pursue rash decisions. But she knew, above all, that she could not remain idle in this accursed coach while the love of her life was a short time away from his death.

Quickly she kissed her daughter's forehead and whispered that she would be back soon. She thanked Mr. Lorry for all of his kindness and help he had shown to her and her family. She kissed her father and waved goodbye to her husband. Then she yelled, "Stop the coach!"

All eyes turned, those eyes that were conscious, to watch as Lucie almost flew out of the coach and started running passionately in the opposite direction from that of which she was trying to escape to. Lucie knew the place of her destination. She knew from looking up at the harsh rays of the sun that she only had a short time before Sydney's death.

Mr. Lorry, the doctor, and little Lucie looked after her. Mr. Lorry unable to understand what had come over his young friend attempted to call after her. But it was the child who shook her head and put a hand to her lips. "Mother will be back," she assured him the way only a child can do, "Mother will be back soon."

**this is only part one...i think of part two or maybe three depending on what happens....so what do you think?? worthwhile to see what happens??**


	2. Chapter 2

**okay this is the conclusion to my story...i hope you all like it...i liked writing it...always feels good to make happy endings (yes this is a happy ending)...anyway as youll notice i kind of cut out the seamstress, not that i dont love her i do i cried when she died...but it makes sense not to include her...youll see also...please be kind to my interpretation of defarge...dont ask me why but there was something in the book that i saw in him...the good side if you will anyway please reand review and enjoy just a note special thanks to my reviews GoldenAshes, Queen of the Unknown, and Ctolol21---if you three are reading this you should know how i smiled reading your reviews...and anthother thanks to PhantomErikPhan who although did not reivew this story reivewed my poem about Sydney Carton---just want you to know PhantomErikPhan i wish i could write poetry as beautifully as you do....anyway please read review and enjoy...**

I See Myself In Your Smile (Part 2)

Lucie ran swiftly towards the very streets of Paris that she never wanted to see again. But as she neared the market square she stopped short. Lucie, with her pretty face, beautiful blond hair and dazzling blue eyes, would be the most recognized suspected criminal in Paris! Thinking quickly the seconds slipped onward she bent down on the ground gathering up as much dust and soot as she could. Then she passionately covered her face with the black ashes. She covered her clothes in the remainder of the soot, and she wrinkled and creased her once beautiful dress.

Then once she was satisfied she took off in a run again. Not one person stopped her remarking that she looked very similar to a one Mrs. Darnay, to one Mrs. Evermonde. Not one person begged her pardon to remark how very much she looked like the daughter of an old country doctor. She reached La Force prison in time to see a cart full of prisoners coming out into the light of day to die upon Madame guillotine. Lucie was surrounded by thousands of onlookers who jeered and laughed at the misfortunate devils being carried to their deaths. It was then when Lucie saw him.

Sydney Carton was leaning against the side of the cart looking down at his feet. Lucie flushed with happiness that she had not been too late. He was still alive! He was still breathing! If only he could see her through this dense throng of people!

Suddenly, in a lose of character, she found herself screaming at the very top of her lungs, "Sydney!"

She saw him look up with surprise at hearing his true name called. He had not expected that to happen. Sydney Carton briefly swept his eyes around the crowds of the mob cheering for his death. There must have been thousands of Sydneys in Paris, he concluded bitterly. Yet that voice…that voice had sounded so pleading so much like her voice. It had that same beautiful trill which echoed through his ears like bells. It sent the same thrill through his body as it had done many times before. But Sydney turned his head from the clamoring people. It was not possible. He knew this was certain. It was not possible that she could have been here. That she could see him now and call to him.

However he noticed that embedded in the thousands and thousands of poor was a pair of bright blue eyes, which stared beseechingly up at his own brown eyes. The brown eyes and blue held each other for but a moment. It would have lasted longer if Sydney had control. It would have lasted the rest of his life and hers staring into her eyes. But suddenly the blue eyes closed and the body attached to the blue eyes was shoved downward. Sydney, now believing that such impossibilities could indeed be possible, tried to relocate Lucie.

What had happened to Lucie? She had been thrown backward and onto the earth by Ernest Defarge. He had been among the group of people who watched happily the prisoners on the cart. But he had noticed the familiar curls and blue eyes of his old master's daughter. So now as Lucie slowly recovered from being face to face with the streets of Paris she found Defarge looking at her.

While unconscious he had carried her away from the fervent cries of the mob into his old wine shop. There was not a soul about except for Defarge as she came to and looked about her. Lucie stopped short of screaming when she was confronted with Defarge's piercing black eyes.

"What are you doing here Miss Manette or should I saw Mrs. Darnay?"

Lucie bit her lip. "What is my husband's number?"

Defarge looked out his windows and then back into Lucie's eyes. "Twenty-three. They are now on eighteen. Soon you will have the pleasure of knowing there is one less Evremonde in the world."

Lucie crossed her arms. "What would you think, Mr. Defarge, if I told you that number twenty-three is not Evremonde?"

Mr. Defarge, though called Jacques by those who fought for justice, stared blankly at her. He gave a chuckle to show her that he did not believe. "You may try, traitor to save him but it will not work. He is condemned and all that you may do now is to flee for your life. Forget Paris and go to England Mademoiselle." There were flecks of genuine kindness in his unforgiving words.

"The man you intended to murder today is alive Mr. Defarge. The man who shall be murdered today is not my husband. He is an average Englishman who never lived in France. He does not have a French accent, nor did he ever associate himself with those who abused peasants. The man who shall die today is a good man who only wants to bring good into the lives of those he loves." Lucie began to cry again and Mr. Defarge slowly began to believe the truth she spoke.

"But why does he not tell us so?" asked Defarge leaning his arm against a table.

"He plans on dying in the place of my husband. He plans on dying for my happiness."

Mr. Defarge, an observant man, shook his head. "Forgive me but it does not seem that his sacrifice will bring any kind of happiness to you."

"I…I love him." Lucie stood up and turned towards the guillotine looming in the distance. "When I found out what he planned to do, I left my husband, child, and dear friend in a rash attempt to save him." Her situation even sounded silly in her head.

Mr. Defarge spent his adult life pursing justice and destroying tyranny. If Madame Defarge was by his side at this moment he knew what she would say. She would shoot the girl for causing an uproar and a nuisance. She would see that this man who was not Mr. Darnay would die on the guillotine for associating with Mr. Darnay. And then she would track down Darnay and kill him too. Death was something that Mr. Defarge did not shy away from. Neither did he disagree with killing those who deserved to die. But Lucie's story touched Mr. Defarge and his heart broke for the girl who love only sought for a second chance.

Without a word he ran out of the wine shop in an attempt to do something to stop this event from occurring. But Lucie had no idea of Mr. Defarge's intent. She believed that Mr. Defarge would kill Sydney and then go after Charles and probably little Lucie too. And all these deaths would occur because of her words. Now she sat in a wine shop where her father had been cared for, where she had found hope, and now at last suffered a pain greater than any dagger.

She waited for the footsteps that she knew would come. She knew that any minute Defarge and the rest of the Jaqucerie would come into the shop and probably kill her. But she willingly welcomed them. If Sydney was dead there was no point in living out the rest of her young life. Better to end it now and join Sydney in Heaven than suffer year after year.

The hours flew by and the sun had begun his sorry setting bringing no hope for Lucie as she at last decided to leave the wine shop. She walked like one of the dead back to the main square where Madame guillotine dwelled. The guillotine was drenched in blood from a hard days work and the crowds had begun to disperse. Lucie needed to know for certain what had happened to Sydney and it seemed that all those who witnessed his execution were leaving. But as she peered into the street she caught sight of a woman who took no notice of her fellow citizens' departure. Lucie took a deep breath and walked slowly up to the women who remained seated on a large stone knitting away. The woman's eyes were bent low fixed solely on her stitches.

"How many did the guillotine kill today?" she asked bravely.

"Fifty one," replied the woman who continued knitting without even missing a stitch. "Were you not present?"

Lucie shook her head trying to sound lighthearted. "No I left abruptly after nineteen."

The woman's brow knotted much like her knitting though she did not look up at Lucie. "Then you did not witness what happened to twenty-three?"

Lucie bit her lip chocking back tears. "I did not. What happened?"

The woman shook her head. "Turned out the man wasn't really an Aristo. There he was head bent so low to the ground and all, then citizen Defarge runs out into the middle bellowing and hollering all the while. Tells us the man we got isn't the man we wanted to kill. Told us, this was an Englishman who was a great supporter of the revolution and we couldn't kill him."

The girl with golden hair and bright blue eyes had a hard time holding back the smile that threatened to lay siege to her face. Defarge had listened to her! Sydney was alive. "What happened to the Englishman after they freed him?" she asked breathlessly.

The accurate knitter shrugged her shoulders. "I've no idea. But he seemed to be the most bitter a gentleman that was ever freed by La Guillotine. Kept looking down at his feet during the entire ordeal. I'd assume he's already left and headed off to England."

Lucie put a hand to her head and realized it was hopeless to search for him among so many people. "Are you certain he did not say where he was going?"

"Why do you persist in asking these questions?" asked the woman remaining focused on her knitting. "Why does it matter to you to find this gentleman?"

Lucie chuckled slightly realizing that there was no point in keeping it secret from the world. Her Sydney was gone back to England and she was alone in France. It did not matter to her if the entire world knew now. "It matters because I love him."

"Ah," said the woman for the first time missing a stitch, "so he is your friend?"

"No…I mean yes…he is, but that is not the kind of love that I mean. I mean that I love him the way no one person has ever loved another. But I did not realize I loved him until he was already gone."

"Why did you never tell him before he decided to die for you?" asked the woman with a hint of curiosity.

Lucie opened her mouth to reply but then stopped short. "I never said he chose to die." Then swiftly Lucie bent down to the woman and removed the knitter's hat. She was astonished to find Sydney looking up at her with eyes full of love.

Slowly he stood up and dropped the needles and thread on the ground. He took off the rags of the old woman and revealed Mr. Darnay's clothes. Without any thought or word Lucie ran into his arms as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Why did you come back for me?" asked Sydney already knowing the answer.

"I started thinking about how happy I would be to see you in the coach sitting beside me. When Charles showed up I felt like crying, I wanted it to be you so badly."

"When I saw your eyes among all those devils," whispered Sydney to his love, "I hoped it was you looking at me. I hoped it was you. When did you first realize you loved me?"

She withdrew from him and looked up into his eyes. Lucie saw the man she loved smiling down at her with bliss. "It was when I saw myself in your smile."

But Sydney shook his head. "This is not possible. You cannot have this love for me that I have for you. I am nothing but a drunken good for nothing. I would only pull you down with me."

Lucie then shook her head. "But I see all that you could be, and I know that sometimes you do too. Sydney, I love you. I do not know what will happen to us tomorrow. I do not know what will happen to this country or to England. I do not know what Charles, and the rest of them sailing to England will think of me. All that I know…all that matters to me as the sun sets on this day is that I love you Sydney Carton. What I said before was true, every word. You are the most important person to me in this world besides my daughter. When I thought you were dead I did not care about your drinking, I did not care about your failures or flaws, I cared about the man I loved who I thought I would never see again. Now we are together I never want to be parted from you again."

Then Sydney bent down to her and kissed her on the lips. "I do not intend to be parted from you, my love, Lucie Manette."

**sometimes in life...when all hope seems lost the best thing to do is find yourself a little fluffyness**


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